'Sex' and Jon Carrol Is Not Getting It

Neither do I, so let's skip to the favorite bits:

I am so not getting this sex thing. Or, perhaps, this "sex" thing. I imagine it's a red-state kind of deal, but even allowing for my ignorance, I still don't get it.

I sort of understand about Janet Jackson's breast. I mean, it was flashed for less than a second, and you had to be looking carefully, and I do not think that youths would be corrupted by the televised image of any human breast, but I get that this nation has a breast thing, and it is customary to keep them covered in prime time.

Playboy would not have become a successful magazine were there breasts on view on television. You may scoff, you may rejoice, but there it is.

(snip)

A lot of people say this has something to do with the Bible, but I went to Sunday school and I do not recall any passages about bath towels. I do recall that we were supposed to go forth and multiply (which did not mean "go forth and do arithmetic"), and I recall that the peacemakers were blessed. There is some stuff about killing your wife if she offends the fatted calf (I probably have that wrong), but I believe those parts of the patriarchal desert culture have been rejected by modern Christianity, even by fundamentalists who take the Bible literally except when they don't.

(snip)

Look, sex is funny and poignant and bawdy and dumb and cute and natural and delicate and pervasive. Mostly, it is fun, unless there are unwanted babies made or sexual diseases transmitted. And the same people who think Nicolette Sheridan is a scandal are against promoting safe sex -- so AIDS is OK and children raised by irresponsible mothers are OK, as long as we protect the kids from seeing breasts. Dear heavens above.

I guess if we saw what was behind the bible-belt we get it...