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Saturday, December 24, 2005

White House Secret of Perpetual Energy

My super double-secret sources tell me that the White House has solved the problem of perpetual energy. In a stunning development which resulted from a sidebar conversation during Vice President Cheney's secret energy task force, all the graves of the Founding Fathers have been fitted with special power generating devices.

As they spin in their graves with each revelation, or claim, of unlawful presidential perogative, they collectively produce 76.5 million terajoules of energy.

Unfortunately most of this energy, which is enough to run most of the Christmas decorations in DC, is being used to power Cheney's pacemaker since his heart stopped beating in 1997.

All calls to Stark Industries, rumored to have pioneered the breakthrough pacemaker technology, have gone unanswered.

Other plans developed include cutting the heating cost at the Capitol by keeping Congress steamed and Democrats hot under the collar.