The War on Christmas - Newsflash

Humanistic guerillas invaded Christmas Island in a pre-dawn raid. Shortly after seizing the radio station they announced that from this day hence the small nation would be called Island Seasons. They then proceeded to play only Rap Music, eliminating any reference to holiday sales or how grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Most locals feel ambivalent over the coup as they never felt Chrismassy due to their lack of snow. However, the rebels met a smattering of resistance from the hastily called into action Salvation Army.

In other related news, Easter Island has put its forces on alert…