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Tuesday, January 04, 2005


Unconfirmed Sources Newsflash: George W. Bush Cancels Inauguration Day Festivities to Donate Money to Tsunami Relief Efforts!
Unconfirmed Sources indicate that The President is so heart broken over the loss of life in South Asia that he has decided to donate all the money raised for his inauguration to Tsunami related relief efforts. All 35 inauguration day events have been cancelled and the actual ceremony has even been scaled back to save money. The total amount of money donated will exceed 50 million dollars. Relief agencies are greeting the news with joy and are already making plans to spend the money.

"It's the right thing to do." Said White House spokesmen Ben Lion. "The President is a god fearing compassionate man and he just could not see himself sipping champagne with rich muckety mucks when the world is in such great need. He is already the President so this lavish spending is wasteful when the money could be spent to save the lives of thousands of people in peril in Southeast Asia.

"This is really going to set the stage for a revitalized role for the U.S. in the region." Noted Henry Kissinger. "President Bush is taking this opportunity to prove that the U.S. is a real team player on the world stage, and not just some neo-colonialist bully throwing its weight around. I'm looking forward to more leadership of this kind out of the White House in the coming years.(more)

Maybe in an alternate universe somewhere, somewhen...

(Via Buzzflash)