Faulkner on the Bush White House

Ejoy this excerpt from the 2005 Faux Faulkner Winner The Administration and the Fury:

“He needs his makeup,” Dick said.

“I ll do it,” Condi said. She put a little brush on my check and it tickled and I laughed.

Rummy walked into the room. “Jesus, what s he laughing about,” Rummy said.

“Dont you pay attention to him, Georgie,” Dick said. “They re going to be asking you all about Social Security. You just remember what we talked about.”

“He cant remember anything,” Rummy said.

I started to holler. Dick s face was red and he looked at Rummy. “I told you to hush up already,” Dick said. “Now look what you ve gone and done.”

“Go and get him Saddam s gun,” Condi said. “You know how he likes to hold it.”

Dick went to my desk drawer and took out Saddam s gun. He gave it to me, and it was hot in my hands. Rummy pulled the gun away.

“Do you want him carrying a gun into the press conference?” Rummy said. “Cant you think any better than he can?”

Someday Bush is gonna' need that pistol and it won't be pretty.