Politics, Sex, Religion, and all those impolite Human Conversations...

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Location: Oaksterdam, California

Monday, October 11, 2004

But Does He Listen?

Some people find it reassuring that Bush has the ability to talk to God
First there was Adam. Then came Moses, and that other guy Jesus. But now, we have President George Walker Bush.

Finally a leader who is willing to stand up to the perils of the Devil's mischief making, and put our great nation on the path towards Heaven. A leader who is willing to lay down the law Old Testament style, just like his daddy taught him out back on the ranch.

While admittedly having some "youthful indiscretions" in his hedonistic, Presidents Gone Wild days, he has now come full circle with the self-proclaimed love of a good woman and the ever-steady guidance of the Lord. For Bush it has been goodbye Jack Daniels, and hello Jesus.


I know when I hear that I am absolutely relieved, because I really don't want a president in office unless he can talk directly with the real man in charge, God.

I know some of the terrorists think they can talk to God, but everybody knows that their God is not the real one, and is also way less cool.

Weapons of mass destruction, weapons inspections, unilateral invasions, none of these really matter because, with Bush in office, God is the one really giving the orders. And as long as invading Iraq is in God's plan, then that is all I need to know. It is about time we have found a religious prophet as our president, because I am really tired of past sinner presidents who direct our country by unruly guidelines such as logic.

Logic is so overrated anyway, especially when you can just talk to God whenever you want to like Bush. That's why even though I will admit Bush does occasionally do things that seem rather crazy, we just need to put our faith in him. Because putting our faith in Bush is putting our faith in God.


We just need to trust Bush and not question anything he does and pledge our lives to whatever he tells us to do. He is just applying the Bible to modern day life with a little help from talking with the man upstairs, so he can't be wrong.

Or take giving huge tax benefits to the richest percentile of the American people.

It again might seem like the Christian thing to do would be to tax the rich in order to help out those truly in need.

But hello, the reason they are rich in the first place is because it is part of God's plan, so there is no reason to punish them for it.

Everyone already knows rich people are way better than poor people anyway, and they are a lot closer to God because they have lots of money.

So come this Election Day on Nov. 2, make sure you put your faith in the man who can talk to God. (more...)

While this is satire there are folks who believe Bush is God's tool. Let me reassure them that Bush is just a tool...

(Via Smirking Chimp)