After the Election - 'Tis the Season to Give Advice

Remember after the last election in 2004 the Conservatives were so helpful in giving advice? Sadly, No remembers.

The last few days I have spent trolling the winger blogs and their comments to see their reactions. Mostly it has been like The Five Stages of a Giraffe in Quicksand, especially stage four.

So here is the Scaramouche plan for the GOP to retake Congress and maybe win again the White House:

- Stop screwing over the environment and accept that Global Warming is, at least, a by-product of man-made emissions and needs to be controlled;

-Stop screwing with Social Security and make the system stonger by raising caps on those who can afford it;

-Stop screwing up the deficit by insane tax cuts that only benfit the rich and those who invest;

-Stop screwing the American soldier by sending them into made up wars and then not giving them the equipment to protect them;

-Stop being such assholes, first in your daily life and then in you political life!

But, hey, that's me. He is some sage advice:

Some Helpful Hints for Conservatives: "So, things look grim. You've lost the Senate. You've lost the House. Most Americans think you're a corrupt bunch of war mongers. During the past two years your Speaker was indicted for bribery and money laundering. Your VP's chief of staff was indicted for lying to a grand jury. Your VP shot his friend in the face and then tried to cover it up. Your favorite radio pundit was arrested for illegal drug use. You favorite TV pundit was sued for sexual harassment. Your key appointee in Congress for child safety is an avid predator of young boys. One of your most significant evangelical Christian contacts to the Bush White House has been buying crystal meth from a male prostitute. Your President has been labeled by key members of his own party as one of the most incompetent leaders of the last two centuries.

What's a conservative to do?

Admit that you are powerless and that your lives and entire belief system have become unmanageable. Recognize that your way of living has been wrong especially when you insist on telling other people how to live while doing anything you want. Accept that you find it necessary to condemn so-called sinners by quoting the Bible but you never seem to get around to finding a Bible quote that might condemn something that you are doing in your life. Is there something that might just be an abomination whether that might be sexual perversity, greed, gluttony or divorce? Now is the time to keep your ignorant ideas and the ideas of your ignorant minister out of politics.

Come to believe that a Power greater than yourselves could restore some sanity. With the national debt spiraling out of control, admit that it's time to let the Democrats control things. Democrats like Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter were much more responsible in fiscal matters and have worked to balance the budget after Reagan and the Bushes spent as recklessly as Lucy Ricardo on speed. Don't fight the truth. Embrace it. It's for your good and the good of your country.

(Snip)

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves. You have preached morality and insist on posting the Ten Commandments in public. Now ask yourself if you've worked to follow them. More importantly, if you're a Christian--ask yourself if you are living a life that is Christ-like. Have you even read the Sermon on the Mount? If you are a conservative Republican then you didn't understand the Beatitudes ("Blessed are the poor, etc.") did you? Recognize that the platform of Christ and the platform of a conservative Republican are hopelessly incompatible.

Can you think of any advice for our brethren on the right?