Funeral Games

Last Summer, Bush was very impressed that the planning of Reagan's funeral started right after Reagan's inauguration. He wanted to do the same this time around. Thus, he asked his Chief of Staff, Andy Card, to look into suitable burial places befitting his fervent religious convictions.

So, this morning they met go over the options for burial plots. The first suggestion was Arlington Cemetery. Bush mulled it over and said, "I dunno, I can just see all my critics bringing up me bein' AWOL again and it's not religious enuff. What else have you got?"

"Well, we can have you buried at The Vatican." replied Card.

"Andy, Andy, Andy, you know I'm not Catholic and the Pope dared to criticize my war! It just won't do." exclaimed Bush, petulantly..

"OK, then. We can have you entombed in Jerusalem at the Holy Sepulcher. Only, the Israelis want 500 Million Dollars," explained Card.

"Five Hunnerd Million Dollars?" cried Bush. "Didn't you tell 'em I only plan on staying for 3 days and nights?"