Politics, Sex, Religion, and all those impolite Human Conversations...

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Sunday, February 13, 2005

Job Wanted: White House Correspondent

If you haven't been following the Gannon/Guckert scandal, here's a quick recap to get you up to speed.

Mystery man starts website and one week later is granted press pool credentials for the White House despite being turned down for press priviledges over at Congress (something to do with not being a qualified journalist).Furthermore He is allowed to us a fake name, lobs softball questions, and has ties to the partisan groups.

So Bloggers get on the trail and find out unsavory and lurid details about the guy (remember kids, never ever put your picture on the web) and he finally goes into retirment. Questions still exist over what the White House saw in such a tool.

If you have been following the story, then you will love this beautifully written snark by Madeleine Begun Kane"

Dear Scotty:

I've always fantasized about being a White House correspondent. But until now, I've never sought so lofty a position because -- silly me -- I assumed you had to be an actual journalist.

Now that I know otherwise, please consider this my application for White House press credentials. Of course, I know that being Bush's chief media guy and all, approving press applications doesn't fall into your job description. But I'd be mighty grateful if you'd pass this on to whoever screens these things.

The janitor, perhaps? Or maybe the White House chef? One of the Bush twins? Or is it the new Bush family dog that just got out of obedience school?

Whoever the right go-to-guy happens to be, please forward my email to him/her/it ASAP.

Ooops! I almost forget to tell you about myself. Hmmm, let's see:

1) I've never been to journalist school, but would be happy to spend a weekend there, if required.

2) I'm proud to say I've had a slew of jobs over the years -- symphony orchestra oboist, lawyer, food stamp application taker, department store hosiery organizer -- I could go on and on. And, while I've never driven a truck, I used to be a typist and my dictation skills (while rusty) could readily be brought up to speed.

3) I'm married and straight. But I do have a lot of gay friends, if that helps. (See symphony orchestra oboist, above.)

4) Most importantly, I'm completely biased. (Against your guy, until now. Sorry! But for the right price... Well... You can fill in the dots.)

As you can see, I'd make a wonderful White House correspondent. So please, once you figure out who's in charge of these things, pass my letter on. Cause I'm giggling with anticipation of my very first gaggle.


Madeleine Begun Kane a/k/a Mad Kane

I think we bloggers should flood the White House press office with resumes. I hear there is good money to be had channeling the GOP line.