Politics, Sex, Religion, and all those impolite Human Conversations...

My Photo
Location: Oaksterdam, California

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Listlessness: Shit Found in the Plumbing

Bizarre stuff when you read a headline like, Roto-Rooter Lists Weirdest Items Found In Plumbing:
1. Explosive Situation
# Vicksburg, MS - On April 22, a Roto-Rooter crew excavating a residential sewer main dug up a live Civil War cannon shell. It was believed to be leftover from the 1863 siege of Vicksburg. An Army Ordnance disposal team later removed it.

2. Nine Lives

# Greensboro, NC - Bruce Shockley and crew rescued a cat from a storm sewer. "Angel" jumped from her elderly owner's arms into the sewer. She became disoriented and couldn't get out. Angel spent 24-hours underground before the crew excavated through earth and concrete to rescue her.

3. GI Joe Rescue

# Bloomington, IL - Roto-Rooter's Michael Woggon was sent to repair a toilet. Apparently a 3-year old at the residence had been training his GI Joes in deep-water rescue techniques. He sent one down the toilet and when it didn't come back he sent a few more in after it. When none of the Joes returned, the boy flushed several Matchbox cars to find them. Needless to say the GI Joes weren't exactly Navy SEAL material. Altogether, fifteen toys were recovered from the drainpipe.

4. Smuggler's Blues

# Hamilton, Ontario, Canada - Police called Roto-Rooter to recover a large stash of drugs and cash that a suspect flushed down a toilet just as the cops came in the front door. It took Plumber John Dekker only minutes to recover all of the evidence.

5. Tiny Bottles

# Sacramento, CA - Roto-Rooter's Brek Ritzema and Scott Chapman were called to a business with a backed-up sewer main. Toilets and sinks were over-flowing so the plumbers went to work on the clog. Finally, their equipment started pulling out myriad of empty miniature liquor bottles - the kind they serve on airlines. An employee was apparently in the habit of drinking on the job and flushing the evidence.

I thank god every day for plumbing because the alternative would be something a bear (or is it a Pope?) does in the woods...