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Sunday, October 31, 2004

It's Happy Dowdy Time

Not everyone is drinking the Kool-Aid, Maureen Dowd keeps with the Gin (which often makes for mean drunks) and asks Will Osama Help W.?:

O.B.L., they said, might re-elect W.

They follow the Bush strategists' reasoning that since President Bush rates higher than John Kerry on fighting terror, anytime Americans get rattled about Iraq and Al Qaeda, it's a plus for the president. And Republicans can keep claiming that Al Qaeda wants the "weak" Democrat elected, even as some intelligence experts suggest the terrorists prefer that the belligerent Mr. Bush stay in power because he has been a boon to jihadist recruiting, with his disastrous occupation of Iraq and his true believer, us-versus-them, my-Christian-God's-directing-my-foreign-policy vibe.

The Bushies' campaign pitch follows their usual backward logic: Because we have failed to make you safe, you should re-elect us to make you safer. Because we haven't caught Osama in three years, you need us to catch Osama in the next four years. Because we didn't bother to secure explosives in Iraq, you can count on us to make sure those explosives aren't used against you.

At Bloggershead with the Punditry

American Digest: Blogger's Head Explodes
LAGUNA BEACH, CALIFORNIA -- Doctors are blaming a rare electrical imbalance in the brain for the bizarre death of a blogger whose head literally exploded in the final week of the election!

No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but a small room at the blogger's residence was sprayed with blood and brain matter when Gerard Van der Leun's head suddenly blew apart. Experts say he suffered from a condition called Hyper-Cerebral Blogosis or HCB .

"He was deep in concentration with his eyes focused on the screen and his fingers frozen over the keyboard," said Laguna Beach early responder, Miguel Wilsonista. "He seems to have hit 'Post' for what had to be the 3,456,856th item of inept political photoshopping this year when the blast occurred.

"His browser history documents that he went from Drudge to Real Clear Politics to Talking Points Memo to Instapundit to Fox News to The New York Times to MSNBC to Kos to Roger Simon to Little Green Footballs to The Corner to Atrios to Google News to Allah to The Belmont Club to Wonkette and finally, and probably fatally, to Andrew Sullivan . All of a sudden his hands flew to his temples and he screamed in pain. Then, as if someone had put a bomb in his cranium, Van der Leun's head popped like a firecracker."


The most recent explosion occurred just two days ago at Instapundit, when Glenn Reynolds' skull burst but his blog kept on updating itself oblivious to Mr. Reynold's absence. Documents unsealed in Washington today, disclosed that fading blogger Andrew Sullivan's head actually exploded in early 2004, but duct tape, chewing gum, and love has kept that blog's keyboard humming in the grisly aftermath.

"HCB was once an extremely rare physical imbalance," said Dr. Anatoly Martinenko, famed neurologist and expert on the blogging brain who did the secret autopsy on Andrew Sullivan early in 2004. "It is a condition in which the circuits of the brain become overloaded by repetitive punditry. The explosions happen during periods of intensely boring political activity when lots of current is surging through the blogger's brain but no new connections are or can be made. Victims are highly intelligent people with great powers of concentration. Both Mr. Van der Leun and Mr. Sullivan were intense people who tended to keep those cerebral circuits overloaded. In a way it could be said they were literally too smart for their own good." (More)

(Via The Presurfer)

Iocaine Immunity

Since Osama popped up on Friday, the talk show puppets pundits have been a non-stop mind reading act, diving the intentions of bin Laden in the traditon of Carnac the Magnificent.

(Shorter Sean Hannity: Vote for Bush because Osama bin Laden doesn't want you to vote for Bush...)

In discussing the effect the Osama tape will have on the election, on the whole, the talking heads tortured logic in the manner of Vizzini, the criminal mastermind, from "The Princess Bride," dealing with the man in black, aka, the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Dizzying intellect Posted by Hello

Wonkette , the tease, flirted with the similarity but did follow through to a satisfatory conclusion.

To refresh the memory:
Safire: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in black: You're that smart?
Will: Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard or Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in black: Yes.
Coulter: Morons!
Man in black: Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
O'Reilly: For the princess? To the death? I accept!
Man in black: Good, then pour the wine. [Pundit pours the wine] Inhale this but do not touch.
Estrich: [taking a vial from the man in black] I smell nothing.
Man in black: What you do not smell is Iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, and dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.
Limbaugh: [shrugs with laughter] Hmmm.
Man in black: [turning his back, and adding the poison to one of the goblets] Alright, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink - and find out who is right, and who is dead.
Hume: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in black: You've made your decision then?
Matthews: [happily] Not remotely! Because Iocaine comes from Australia. As everyone knows, Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
Man in black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Matthews: Wait 'till I get going!! ...where was I?
Man in black: Australia.
Kondrake: Yes! Australia! And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin,so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
Man in black: You're just stalling now.
Cavuto: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally you could have put the poison in your own goblet trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied...and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Man in black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Gingrich: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the poison is!
Man in black: Then make your choice.
Scarborough: I will, and I choose...[pointing behind the man in black] What in the world can that be?
Man in black: [turning around, while Pundits switches goblets] What?! Where?! I don't see anything.
Morris: Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [Pundit laughs]
Man in black: What's so funny?
Krauthammer: I...I'll tell you in a minute. First, lets drink, me from my glass and you from yours.

[They both drink]

Man in black: You guessed wrong.
Rove: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a SicilianTexan, when death is on the line!

[The Pundits continue to laugh hysterically. Suddenly, they stop and fall right over. The Man in black removes the blindfold from the princess]

American people: Who are you?
Man in black: I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you'll ever need know.
American people: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
Man in black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up immunity to iocaine powder.

So the pundits blathered on about what Osama wants and how this is all good for Bush. It was inconceivable, yes inconceivable, to state the obvious, "Why is this guy still alive?"

The Dread Pirate Roberts is a figurehead, and for this one our elections really don't matter as for the last 3 years he has been allowed to build up an immunity to Iocaine...

Friday, October 29, 2004

It's Official, John Kerry is Gay

And John Edwards,too. That is, if you can believe those silly dopes over at

Just last Wednesday I was wondering in this post when the wingers would come out and flatly say so. So, a week later I found that link on grow-a-brain.

Vote & Visualize Winning

Needlenose produced this fantastic, must-see clip: Visualize Winning.

(via grow-a-brain)

Whiskey Bar is Open

News flash: Billmon is back and has this warning:
And now we have local GOP Gauleiters in Florida soliciting oaths of allegiance not to the flag, not to the country, not to the constitution, but to the person of the leader -- albeit still an elected one, at least for now.

One people, one country, one leader ...

One step following another.

(Via Needlenose)

I Don't Do Friday Cat Blogging: Halloween Edition

Found this at Posted by Hello

And now for something really scary: Goths for Bush

We are forming this Goth Republican Band to help elect George Bush to continue the sadness. His actions facilitate our morbid fascination and the beauty of enduring pain. Many people lead unhappy lives and that is sad. Bush will continue the sadness. He knows that gentle people are excellent for spanking. His foreign policy is the best, he spanks the world and the unseen one knows it deserves it, so beautifully dirty, grimy and perverse.

Note: Here's the original I Don't Do Friday Cat Blogging

(Via MetaFilter )

Start Thinking About Halloween

Mark Fiore offers us this treat: Campaign of Fear

Quote of the Day

Molly Ivins:
Meanwhile, many evangelical Christians are convinced gay marriage is upon us and will be the end of civilization. How they convinced themselves George W. Bush is the Lord's anointed is beyond me. I've known him since high school and watched him closely as a public official for 10 years, and I have yet to see the first sign of it.

That belief is just as hard to dislodge as their touching faith that we found WMD in Iraq and that Saddam Hussein was connected to Al Qaeda. They believe both these things because the administration keeps claiming they are true. As far as I know, the only time Bush has directly claimed that God speaks through him was this summer before the Amish leaders. That startled everyone who thought God knew how to pronounce the word nuclear.

Al Qaqaa All The Time.

Paul Krugman notes that besides the missing munitions there are other stories coming home to roost this week. Like letting Osama get away, letting Zarqawi get away, the situation in Iraq, and $70 billion more soon to be added to the cost of Bush's war. He then has this to say:
All of these stories would be getting more play right now if it weren't for the Al Qaqaa mess. Still, one can understand why the right is so upset.

After all, Al Qaqaa illustrates in a particularly graphic way the failures of Mr. Bush's national security leadership. U.S. soldiers passed through Al Qaqaa, a crucial munitions dump, but were never told that it was important to secure the site. If administration officials object that they couldn't have spared enough troops to guard the site, they're admitting that they went in without enough troops. And the fact that these explosives fell into unknown hands is a perfect example of how the Iraq war has worsened the terrorist threat.

The story of Al Qaqaa has brought out the worst in a campaign dedicated to the proposition that the president is infallible - and that it's always someone else's fault when things go wrong. Here's what Rudy Giuliani said yesterday: "No matter how you try to blame it on the president, the actual responsibility for it really would be for the troops that were there. Did they search carefully enough?" Support the troops!

But worst of all from the right's point of view, Al Qaqaa has disrupted the campaign's media strategy. Karl Rove clearly planned to turn the final days of the campaign into a series of "global test" moments - taking something Mr. Kerry said and distorting its meaning, then generating pseudo-controversies that dominate the airwaves. Instead, the news media have spent the last few days discussing substance. And that's very bad news for Mr. Bush.

(Via SmirkingChimp)

Thursday, October 28, 2004

BARBARians are very nice people.

Bay Area Bloggers and Readers night out drew a crowd slightly larger smaller than The Last Supper. And yes, we have readers: Ravazz, Ryan, and Tomato -we love you!

Update: Weird, I didn't think the above posted since blogger has been acting buggy (Blogger + what you pay for it = 0). Well back to the story...

We had folks coming from as far away as San Mateo and Santa Rosa. It was refreshing to meet and have unvarnished political conversation with highly informed people. It seems as rare as a lunar eclipse, oh wait...

Most repeated comments of the night:

"You don't look anything like I imagined," "You want another drink?," and "We got to do this again." Sorta' sounds like internet dating.

Generik posted some pictures and his take on the evening.

I want to thank everyone for coming.

Last note: I just started a Bay Area Bloggers section on the left above my blogroll. Please make suggestions.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

A Very Good Use of Unintended Irony

A politician who jumps to conclusions without knowing all the facts does not deserve to be the Commander in Chief.
-Bush (the gut) on the stump at a campaign stop

Calling all BARBARians...Tonight

Bay Area Resident Bloggers and Readers are invited to meet up this Wednesday, Oct 27, from 6-9pm at Ben & Nick's Bar & Grill for drinks and conversation.

The Dark Reverand of The Dark Window (who should be on every blogger's blogroll) and your humble servant (Scaramouche) came up with the idea as an alternative to a blog-b-que which never got organized. Instead we Oaktown bloggers chose to follow the lead of Duncan Black.

So come joins us and learn our super-secret identies. The bar is in Oakland's Rockridge district, located at 5612 College Avenue (half a block from the Rockridge BART station) and a few blocks from the Freeway exits of Hwy 24.

If you know of any Bay Area bloggers of our ilk, please leave their blog addresses in the comments...

Update: Special thanks to Roger Ailes for the plugging our event. Also I found a useful guide for our night out: The 86 Rules of Boozing

Final Update:
I hope to see everyone there. We will be the noisy crowd by the bar. For entertainment, The Dark Reverand Pete has volunteered me for a display of "severe" acid reflux disease. Also he will call for a total eclipse of the moon...

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Techie Tuedsay: Vectron Blackhawk

Program in any message 30 characters long. Posted by Hello

Who among us does not love a toy with a super-charged turbo mode? The Vectron Blackhawk is the next generation of flying toys using concepts developed by NASA and the U.S. Air Force.
The Vectron® uses a new concept in hovering flight. Since the entire body ring rotates, this provides all the gyroscopic stability necessary for hovering flight. This is done by a patented process of continuously changing the power to all three motors as they rotate in such a way to provide vectored control of the vehicle...

Vectron® is tethered with a line to the docking base and the DECLINATOR acts as an autopilot feature, which keeps it from straying and crashing. Once you have mastered the flying controls, use the super-charged turbo mode for greater height and movement sensitivity. Unlike other remote control vehicle, the directional control on the joystick allows for replica movements transferred to the Vectron® .

As it spins, LED lights flash to create a continuously scrolling message on the surrounding ring. You can program up to 4 separate 30 character messages which can be changed while the Blackhawk is flying.

Wouldn't this be an eye-catching promotional display for your business, your candidate, or your blog?

For more details, or pricing info, check here or here.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Deep Doo Doo from Al Qaqaa

Can we be any safer now that a Huge Cache of Explosives Vanished From Site in Iraq
The Iraqi interim government has warned the United States and international nuclear inspectors that nearly 380 tons of powerful conventional explosives - used to demolish buildings, make missile warheads and detonate nuclear weapons - are missing from one of Iraq's most sensitive former military installations.

The huge facility, called Al Qaqaa, was supposed to be under American military control but is now a no man's land, still picked over by looters as recently as Sunday. United Nations weapons inspectors had monitored the explosives for many years, but White House and Pentagon officials acknowledge that the explosives vanished sometime after the American-led invasion last year.


The International Atomic Energy Agency publicly warned about the danger of these explosives before the war, and after the invasion it specifically told United States officials about the need to keep the explosives secured, European diplomats said in interviews last week. Administration officials say they cannot explain why the explosives were not safeguarded, beyond the fact that the occupation force was overwhelmed by the amount of munitions they found throughout the country.


More worrisome to the I.A.E.A. - and to some in Washington - is that HMX and RDX are used in standard nuclear weapons design. In a nuclear implosion weapon, the explosives crush a hollow sphere of uranium or plutonium into a critical mass, initiating the nuclear explosion.

A crude implosion device - like the one that the United States tested in 1945 in the New Mexican desert and then dropped on Nagasaki, Japan - needs about a ton of high explosive to crush the core and start the chain reaction.

Bush's gut said there were WMD's in Iraq so we had to invade to stop the possibility of them being passed along to terrorist groups. I wish I had a word stronger than Fucking Incompetent to describe this administration's handling of this war - Criminal Stupidity comes to mind. Furthermore, this information has been known for quite awhile but witheld from the American people. Josh Marshall is all over that aspect of the story.

This is not the first time that Al Qaqaa has made the headlines as noted by Rook's Rant
In the first of yesterday's discoveries, the 3rd Infantry Division entered the vast Qa Qaa chemical and explosives production plant and came across thousands of vials of white powder, packed three to a box. The engineers also found stocks of atropine and pralidoxime, also known as 2-PAM chloride, which can be used to treat exposure to nerve agents but is also used to treat poisoning by organic phosphorus pesticides. Alongside those materials were documents written in Arabic that, as interpreted at the scene, appeared to include discussions of chemical warfare.

When the WMD's stockpile panned out, the place was left unguarded and almost 3/4 of a million pounds of high explosives were allowed to go missing. Despite the danger posed to the whole world, it has been devastating to our soldiers on the ground as seen in this
cached article from
The insurgents probably are using weapons and ammunition looted from the nearby Qa-Qaa complex, a 3-mile by 3-mile weapons-storage site about 25 miles southwest of Baghdad, said Maj. Brian Neil, operations officer for the 2nd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, which initially patrolled the area.

The site was bombed during last year's invasion and then left unguarded, Neil said.

"There's definitely no shortage of weapons around here," he said.

Social Insecurity

Humor is often just a piercing observation. For example, take this one from Ironic Times:

Social Security: The Evolution of an Idea

1. Millions lose everything gambling on stock market when 1929 crash leads to Great Depression.

2. Social Security introduced to guarantee retired workers monthly income in their old age based on lifelong earnings.

3. Bush proposes to improve system by eliminating guaranteed monthly income in favor of gambling on stock market.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Donkey Style

Now here is an idea I can get behind: Make Love Not War

(Via grow-a-brain)

President Bush has words with the Almighty

I knicked this one in toto from the Guardian. Terry Jones lets us in on an exchange between Dubya and the Deity: George, God here ...
"This is God here ..."
"Hi, God. What can I do for you?"
"I want you to stop this Iraq thing, George."
"But you told me to do it, God!"
"No I didn't, George ..."
"But you did! You spoke to me through Karl, Rumsey and Dick and all those other really clever guys!"
"How did you know it was me talking, George?"
"Instinct, God. I just knew it!"
"Do you really think I'd want you to unleash all this horror and bloodshed on another lot of human beings?"
"But they're Muslims! They don't believe in You, God!"
"But, George, they do believe in me. Jews, Christians and Moslems all worship the same Me! Didn't you do comparative theology at school, George?"
"No, of course not! You think I'm some sort of peace-waving dope-headed liberal faggot-lover, God?"
"No, of course not, George, but I expect you to know something about the people you're bombing."
"Oh, come on! I know it's right to bomb those oily rag-heads until there's not one left to wipe a wrench on!"
"How do you know that, George?"
"Cause You tell me that's what I should do, God."
"George, I do not tell you to do that!"
"But I hear You, God! You speak to me! You tell me what to do! You tell me what is Right and what is Wrong! That's why I don't need to listen to any soft-baked, mealy-mouthed liberal Kerry-pickers!"
"George, you're deluding yourself."
"God! How can you say that? I got some of the most powerful people on this planet down on their knees every day in the White House just a-praying to You! Now are you gonna tell me You ain't listening? Because if You ain't listening, God, that's Your problem - not mine!"
"George, of course I'm listening - it's you who is not listening to Me!"
"And I'll tell you why! 'Cause You ain't addressing me right."
"What d'you mean, you jumped-up little Ivy League draft-dodger?"
"If you're so 'omniscient', God, you oughta know that you gotta go through Karl Rove, John Ashcroft, Rumsey and Dick ... those fellas know what they're talking about! I can't listen to just any deity who can pick up the phone!"
"But, I'm God, George!"
"Does Karl say you are?"
"But why do you believe Karl?"
"Because my gut tells me he's right!"
"Listen, you ignorant little pinch-eyed Billy Graham convert! Can't you get it into your head that I'm God and I'm telling you to stop all this 'pre-emptive strike' nonsense! Stop destroying Iraq! Stop supporting that monster Sharon! Stop picking a fight with the only other human beings on the planet that believe in Me! You're leading the world into unbelievable chaos and horror!"
"That's enough, God! That's just the sort of defeatist crap that I won't allow in the White House! Get out of here!"
"I cannot believe I'm hearing this, George."
"Well you better start believing, God, because this is the new reality. Don'tcha know that a recent Gallup poll shows that 42% of Americans identify themselves as 'born again'? That cuts across Republicans and Democrats, rich and poor, white and black! This is a real political power base, God, and you'd better believe it!"
"Look, all I'm asking is for you to show a little compassion to your fellow human beings!"
"I'm not going to debate this with you, God! You're beginning to sound like you belong to the reality-based community!"
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Well by the 'reality-based community', we mean people who believe that solutions emerge from their judicious study of discernible reality." "Sounds fair enough..."
"But, as one of my advisors told Ron Suskind of the Wall Street Journal: 'The reality-based community is not the way the world really works any more. We're an empire now and, when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality - judiciously, as you will - we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors . . . and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do'."
"You don't give a damn, George?"
"I mean You speak through me, God, not the other way round! Is that clear?"
"Yes, Mr President."

(Via Political Puzzle)

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Fear and Loathing, Campaign 2004

Hunter S. Thompson let's us know what this campaign is really about in thisRollingStone piece:
I watch three or four frantic network-news bulletins about Iraq every day, and it is all just fraudulent Pentagon propaganda, the absolute opposite of what it says: u.s. transfers sovereignty to iraqi interim "government." Hot damn! Iraq is finally Free, and just in time for the election! It is a deliberate cowardly lie. We are no more giving power back to the Iraqi people than we are about to stop killing them.

Your neighbor's grandchildren will be fighting this stupid, greed-crazed Bush-family "war" against the whole Islamic world for the rest of their lives, if John Kerry is not elected to be the new President of the United States in November.

The question this year is not whether President Bush is acting more and more like the head of a fascist government but if the American people want it that way. That is what this election is all about. We are down to nut-cutting time, and millions of people are angry. They want a Regime Change.

Some people say that George Bush should be run down and sacrificed to the Rat gods. But not me. No. I say it would be a lot easier to just vote the bastard out of office on November 2nd. (emphasis added)

(Via Political Puzzle)

Voting in Florida with Diebold...

Here's what it could look like on November 2nd,Bush Wins Florida!

(Via Catch)

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The KEO4 Gay Meme

I have noticed an undercurrent on the web about the Gayness of the Dem ticket. Is Flash the latest for adding a dash of swish to the election?

In JibJab's latest spoof Good to be in D.C. they ask if they're Gay and the have Edwards with Kerry nude in bed saying they won't say.

Here are two clips going round that I found via one of my favorite sites. The Presidential Horror Show with Kerry dressed in Frankenfurter drag and Edwards clad in lavender.

The other has Kerry in the role of Freddy Mecury, an Aids victim, singing Political Bohemian Rapsody.

Considering all the anti-gay rhetoric coming out the Republican sound machine, I can't help wondering if this polictally motivated...

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Techie Tuesday: Wizdog - Indoor Dog Potty

Best use of print journalism... Posted by Hello

First storm of the season and it has been raining cats and dogs all day long. My Roxi Blu, an old bitch of 13 years, hates doing her business in a downpour. She'll just stand around blinking, looking miserable, and not get the job done. For moments like this, I really wish I had an INDOOR DOG POTTY :
Wizdog consists of an industrial grade polyethylene plastic tray and a fitted honeycomb grate. The Wizdog measures 17.25" x 25.5" and was specifically designed to fit most daily newspapers (you can also use the store bought pee pads). The paper remains under the grate, preventing your dog or puppy from shredding it.

Liquid waste is channeled through the grate to the bottom of the tray, preventing paws from coming in contact with the urine. Solid waste is disposed of by simply lifting and flipping the grate. The grate is only 3/8" deep and is easy to clean.

Unlike dog litter systems, Wizdog is a simple and inexpensive product that does not require the purchase of litter refill. Wizdog can be used as is, or can fit either newspaper or training pads to absorb the urine.

The Wizdog tray has a smooth glossy finish for easy cleanup.

On their site there is a cute video, in a silly sort of way, of how the product works...

Sunday, October 17, 2004

The Kerry Emasculation Project

All Sunday long I listened to asinine comments from Talk Show pundits asserting that Kerry was dastardly in mentioning Mary Cheney's lesbianism as a ploy to separate Bush from his base. It was it the same faux-outrage they used on Whoopi Goldberg's remarks Rather than talk about how poor Geore did at the debate it was, "Hey, look there's a lesbian." Doesn't Kerry know that only the GOP can use homoerotic anxiety to massage their base.

The hypocrisy is appalling coming from a party that is doing everything to emasculate the Democratic candidate.

The Stakeholder points out that these NRA Billboards below can now seen in at least 10 key states.

That's so gay Paree Posted by Hello

And then there is this draft of an ad attacking Kerry by the Club for Growth which has footage of a wedding. Instead of kissing the bride (his divorce), the groom kisses a bridesmaid (his dating around), and then drops the bridesmaid to kiss an old lady (his older wife, Teresa) who is playing the organ. In the last scene, he is leering at the minister causing him to flee. The not so subtle message is that Kerry changes his mind so much that he might even turn Gay!

I wonder when that part of Rove's whispering campaign will kick into high gear...

Take the Patriot Pledge!

Do it now! Take the Patriot Pledge!

(Warning: If you are suffering from Irony Impairment this may cause anal leakage)

Pooches for Progress

These are really cute Dog Collar Buttons: Democracy Store

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Bin Laden in China???

Could this be true? I have no way of knowing but read this fascinating piece on the expected "October Surprise" titled Bin Laden is in China:
During the home stretch of the Northamerican elections, Osama bin Laden could prove to be the ace in the sleeve of president Bush. As we speak, Washington is negotiating a highly secretive agreement with Beijing, the Chinese capital, for the eviction of bin Laden from his sanctuary in the turbulent Muslim provinces of China, in the Northwest of the Great Wall nation.

More than five million people, many of them fanatic followers of Osama, live in that region, which can be called one of the most volatile regions of Earth. Thousands of them work for the mafias who specialize in the trafficking of humans and drugs to the West. Last summer, Bin Laden sealed an agreement with the authorities in Beijing, in which he was granted asylum in return for his guarantees that the guerilla war of the Muslim Chinese against the Chinese nation would end.

Over the years, tens of thousands of troops of the Popular Liberation Armee had been sent to the region with the intent to squash the insurgents.

Since the arrival of the Saudi Osama Bin Laden, the region has been relatively quiet, and the Muslims who live there are allowed to continue their trafficking of humans and drugs.

However, Bin Laden could now see himself trapped in his refuge, if an extraordinary agreement between Beijing and Washington would come to pass, in which China would hand over to the United States the most wanted terrorist in the world.

The capture of Bin Laden would virtually guarantee the reelection of George Bush Jr., as it would confirm to the millions of undecided voters of the U.S. that the war against terrorism was judstified after Bin Laden had authorized the attacks of 9/11 against New York and Washington.

"A new administration Bush would present China as its great new ally in the war against terrorism. China would enjoy in Washington the status of a most favored nation with all of its facets. Contracts worth hundreds of millions of dollars would be approved by fast track. The history of human rights violations in China would be ignored," confirmed last week a high-level representative of the Pentagon. He added that only a small number of "members of very high rank" in the Bush administration knew about the plan to "seize Bin Laden in exchange for a special relationship with China." With almost certainty, among them would be the vice-president, Dick Cheney, and the defense secretary, Donald Rumsfeld.

After quoting a number of sources that believes Bin Laden's capture is imminent, there is this interesting report.
In his first confirmed sighting in many months, the refuge of Bin Laden has been pinpointed by an NSA satellite, one of many that the supersecret U.S. agency utilizes in their search for him. His hideout is located near a lake at the border between China and Pakistan.

At the other side of the Zaskar mountains, the white summits that majestically look out over Bin Laden's sanctuary, a detachment of special forces of the Pakistani and U.S. armies are awaiting orders to capture Bin Laden, and move him by plane to Pakistan.

Then there is this tidbit.
White House sources reject to comment on this issue publicly. "If the negotiations should fail, this would not be the most suitable moment for the president to be seen directly involved in these negotiations," affirmed one source.

All in all, I this find rather plausible and can imagine the
Administration not releasing the information that China is harboring the world's greatest fugitive. It would wreak havoc with their base which would be calling for us to strike China or some such nonsense...

(Via MetaFilter)

Friday, October 15, 2004

Obey Bush No Matter What He Does or Says

I came across this site called Obedient

You just gotta love this bit on Republican Logic:
Once you make up your mind to do something, you should continue to do it even if it kills thousands of people and drives the country into the toilet. Admitting you were wrong is worse.

The best way to foster American values in the world by bombing into submission those who don't have them.

We're making the world safer for our children by killing the fathers of the other guy's children. When the other guy's children grow up, "dad" will just be a nostalgic memory, not a reason for the other guy's children to attack our children.

In a way, it is more lucid than the regular fare you find on real right-wing sites

(Via Information Junk )

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Stop with the sport analogies already..

Keith Olberman is back to The Debate III with his own Bloggerman "boxing" account of the last match.Bush is crushed by his final score: Kerry 12 rounds, Bush 4 round, and 4 rounds were fought to a stand still. With final adjusted points: Kerry 18, Bush 3.

Salon hits a Homerun with Bush out after Strike Three! or "Kerry Sweeps the Series."

My personal favorite was this thrust towards the end of the encounter:
KERRY: Well, I guess the president and you and I are three examples of lucky people who married up.


And some would say maybe me moreso than others.


But I can take it.


While Bush looked disarmed not getting the joke at his expense*, Kerry with a smile skewered the criticism that he is a dominated or henpecked husband. That was a perfect use of the French Technique: hit fast and so smooth that the other doesn't know he has been insulted.

*Bush failing to assume the mantle of "The Great Communicator" will now be known as, "she speaks English a lot better than I do."

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Molly Ivins Asks...

"How dumb does Bush think we are?" Which reminds me of this quote by Rack Jite, “One thing I can give George W. Bush, he is at least smarter than anyone who voted for him.”

I don't know if that is the answer Molly is alluding to in this article:
President Bush may not be dumb, but he sure does think the rest of us are.

You have to assume your audience is a bunch of borderline morons to tell as many whoppers as he does. True, short-term memory loss is creeping up on a lot of us, but even I can remember what Bush told us about why we had to invade Iraq.

There was about a rationale a week, but the main contenders were Because Saddam Hussein had (A) weapons of mass destruction and (B) links to Al Qaeda, so the WMD might get into terrorist hands. The supposed Saddam Hussein-Al Qaeda connection was so often trumpeted that by the time the war started, 70 percent of Americans believed Saddam Hussein was behind 9-11.

Last week, Donald Rumsfeld admitted he had never seen any credible evidence there was a link between Saddam and Al Qaeda. Last week, the Duelfer Report, written by our top weapons inspector, said Saddam not only had no weapons of mass destruction, but also that most of them had been destroyed shortly after the first Gulf War. The report also said both the U.N. inspections and the sanctions against Iraq had been resoundingly successful, that Saddam was becoming weaker and weaker. This is the report Bush had the cheek to quote during the debate last week as a source for his contention that Saddam had the "means, materials and intent" to develop WMD.

The Duelfer Report specifically shows that Iraq had neither the means nor the materials and that Saddam Hussein was slipping ever further away from his intent to create same. How dumb does he think we are? (more)

(Via Smirking Chimp)

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Too funny for words...

I just discovered this series by Nicholas Gurewitch called The Perry Bible Fellowship.

I'd say that's twisted, definitely twisted...

(Via MetaFilter)

Techie Tuesday: Adventure Cam H2O

I can think of hundreds of uses, most of them legal, for this waterproof cam. This is perfect for filming etxreme sports. The $360 price is way below the cost of many comparable lipstick cameras. With the right connectors it can plug into most video recorders or transmitters.

Unfortunately there is no depth rating in the specs. Otherwise it could be a cheap alternative to underwater photography by using an old video camera (that you don't mind risking) wrapped up in a waterproof bag. The possibilities are limited only by the lack of imagination...

The Viosport Adventure Cam H2Ois a fully submersible helmet cam that offers standard plug-and-play design, multiple cable options and extensions, with waterproof connections. The H20 is 1 1/4" in diameter and just under 4 1/2" long. It weighs in at 7 ounces. This cam offers 480 TV Lines of resolution and a 93 degree Field of View lens.

Ships with cable and battery holder.

We recommend purchasing the MD4 Extension cable with this camera to provide 12 full feet of completely waterproof connections. (edited for brevity)

(Via The Red Ferrret Journal)

Monday, October 11, 2004

Who Won The Second Presidential Debate? A Pro Wrestling Special.

If you don't care for boxing or fencing metaphors, there is always Professional Wrestling

(Via Fark )

But Does He Listen?

Some people find it reassuring that Bush has the ability to talk to God
First there was Adam. Then came Moses, and that other guy Jesus. But now, we have President George Walker Bush.

Finally a leader who is willing to stand up to the perils of the Devil's mischief making, and put our great nation on the path towards Heaven. A leader who is willing to lay down the law Old Testament style, just like his daddy taught him out back on the ranch.

While admittedly having some "youthful indiscretions" in his hedonistic, Presidents Gone Wild days, he has now come full circle with the self-proclaimed love of a good woman and the ever-steady guidance of the Lord. For Bush it has been goodbye Jack Daniels, and hello Jesus.


I know when I hear that I am absolutely relieved, because I really don't want a president in office unless he can talk directly with the real man in charge, God.

I know some of the terrorists think they can talk to God, but everybody knows that their God is not the real one, and is also way less cool.

Weapons of mass destruction, weapons inspections, unilateral invasions, none of these really matter because, with Bush in office, God is the one really giving the orders. And as long as invading Iraq is in God's plan, then that is all I need to know. It is about time we have found a religious prophet as our president, because I am really tired of past sinner presidents who direct our country by unruly guidelines such as logic.

Logic is so overrated anyway, especially when you can just talk to God whenever you want to like Bush. That's why even though I will admit Bush does occasionally do things that seem rather crazy, we just need to put our faith in him. Because putting our faith in Bush is putting our faith in God.


We just need to trust Bush and not question anything he does and pledge our lives to whatever he tells us to do. He is just applying the Bible to modern day life with a little help from talking with the man upstairs, so he can't be wrong.

Or take giving huge tax benefits to the richest percentile of the American people.

It again might seem like the Christian thing to do would be to tax the rich in order to help out those truly in need.

But hello, the reason they are rich in the first place is because it is part of God's plan, so there is no reason to punish them for it.

Everyone already knows rich people are way better than poor people anyway, and they are a lot closer to God because they have lots of money.

So come this Election Day on Nov. 2, make sure you put your faith in the man who can talk to God. (more...)

While this is satire there are folks who believe Bush is God's tool. Let me reassure them that Bush is just a tool...

(Via Smirking Chimp)

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Another Silly Meme: Bloggers Uber Alles...

Tomorrow the world... Posted by Hello

You blog, people read your blog, but how much of the world is listening? The above map shows all the countries where someone has vistited my blog.

Use the "where where have you visited" site to create the map of visitors to your bolg.

If you need to, blame it it on Gerard of The Presurfer, who started this (extreme kudos for the only blogger I know who has hits from McMurdo Station).

Note from Scaramouche: According to my tracking most of the hits from the Middle East were due to this post.

Kerry Wins Huge by Decision

Keith Olbermann, MSNBC news host and former sportcaster, scores the debate like a boxing match (I guess the fencing metaphor would be too arcane for such a mainstream guy), keeping a running tally of landed blows and fouls committed. He compares each each question to a round in the verbal slugfest. Olbemann appears to have assumed the mantle of Jon Stewart in the "non-fake news" arena and has a worthwhile take on the debate.

Here are the highlights from his exhaustive blow-by-blow account on HardlyBlogger:
Boxing and presidential politics have more in common than you'd think:

It's been observed that boxing is a spectacle in which men dressed in tuxedos sit around watching two guys in their underwear fight each other.

Well, surely, a presidential debate is a spectacle in which millions dressed in their underwear sit around at home watching two guys dressed in $4,000 suits fight each other...

Round 1: (Kerry, 1 to -1) And here they are! Bush surprises in a light blue tie; Kerry sticks with the traditional red. The fighters go to their stools and Kerry receives Cheryl Otis's question about her friends' perception he is wishy-washy. Standard Kerry thank you and calls President "sir." And Kerry swings hard: assaulting his character is Bush's cover-up for failure to locate Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Round 2: (Kerry, 2 to 1) Bush receives Robin Dahl's question about the president's belief that war was justified even without WMD. Three invocations of "after 9/11" in first 20 seconds. Bush receives a warning from the referee... Says Saddam was "gaming the Oil-for-Feud program" — clever analogy to Missouri's Riverboat Gambling industry. One point to Bush... And Kerry roars back invoking the names of both the questioner and the previous questioner. Visceral point to Kerry...

Round 3: (Kerry, 1 to -1) Kerry Receives from Anthony Baldi. Doesn't look follically challenged. He asks if Kerry would use same plan as Bush in Iraq...Bush turns back on Kerry and accuses him of appropriating "The Bush Plan." President seems to be verging on anger as he describes the Kerry plan for a summit... Kerry asks for follow-up. Kerry turns "wrong place" line around into "right place" about Afghanistan and Osama Bin Laden. Bush response: oops "We didn't find out he didn't have weapons till we got there." Bush seems winded...

Round 4: (Kerry, 2 to 0) Bush receives from Nikki Washington on her family's trip abroad and anti-American feeling they experienced and if he has a remedy. Bush slips into almost saying he made decisions that contributed to it; saves himself by firing a Ronald Reagan shot... Kerry now quotes Bush from 2000 against him about only going to war if there was an exit strategy... Bush's lower lip quivers. Now his eyes dart and he chews as Kerry accuses him of "breaking his word." Bush off his feet quickly to respond and damns his general with faint praise, opening up the body to Kerry. And he hits hard: President should win the peace...

Round 5:(Bush, 2 to 0) Kerry receives from Randi Jacobs. Good that these questioners have fairly simple names. She asks about Iran's nuclear threat.

Round 6: (Kerry, 1 to -2) Bush receives from Robert Farley about prospects of a draft. Says he's heard rumors on the "internets." Bloggers can be heard howling over the multiple... Stumbles in claiming he's replacing troops with weapons and equipment and unmanned vehicles. They'll save "manpower and equipment." Veers back to say there'll be no draft. Kerry is on the ropes here, now lists the military leaders who support him... Now Kerry backs out of clinch and says there's already a backdoor draft and says his military policy will be like Reagan's and Eisenhower's... But Bush is off his stool before Gibson authorizes him to and he's yelling at the ref -- always a bad idea. Minus one point. Bush. He also leaves himself open by invoking Poland as an ally when Poland is pulling out -- Kerry scores point by noting it.

Round 7: (Bush, 1 to 0) Kerry receives from Anne Bronsing. Why have there been no terrorist attacks domestically since 9/11 and how will he keep it that way. Kerry stumbles on "not a question of when." ...Bush says he's worried -- four times -- doesn't sound reassuring...

Round 8: (Kerry, 2 to 1) Bush receives from Ron Horshman: why did he block importation of cheaper drugs from Canada. Bush asserts he hasn't yet, he's making sure the drugs are safe, and not secondary imports from the Third World. Questioner seems to be smiling happily... Invokes the name of a drug discount card user from "Missoura." Favored pronunciation of natives... Kerry isn't looking at him; Bush swing hits air. Kerry off the stool, "We did something you don't know how to do: balance the budget." Stinging blow...

Round 9: (Kerry, 1 to -1)Kerry receives from Norma Jean Laurent. Why choose an anti-medical lawyer as VP if you're pro medical rights. Superb question and Kerry has a fight on his hands. Says Edwards authored the Patients' Bill of Rights... Bush off his stool and falls to the mat: confuses John Kerry and Ted Kennedy...

Round 10: (Kerry, 2 to -1) Bush receives from Matthew O'Brien... Why with a Republican majority, has he not vetoed spending plans not approved by the American people. Bush broadens to the '90s bubble and the war. He seems to be admonishing the questioner, and now goes off to homeland security and more expenditures for war. He now tries to use the tax cut punch; misses wildly...Kerry connects with failure of Bush job growth promise. Point to Kerry, invoking Enron.

Round 11: (Kerry, 2 to 0) Kerry receives from James Somebody, asks Kerry to swear to the camera that he won't raise tax burdens to families making less than $200,000. Kerry mugs perfectly into camera and does. Dramatic punch. Point to Kerry. Talks about his own need to cut back his own pet projects to resolve Bush defecit... Bush off his stool to say "it's just not credible" three times, and insists Kerry will raise taxes despite pledge..."Is my time up?" Minus one point. Maybe he should've borrowed his father's watch... Bush response says "look at the record" even though Kerry just hit him on record.

Round 12: (Bush, 1 to 0) Bush receives from James Hubb on his record as environmentalist. Bush with a laundry list of accomplishments but it connects. Point to Bush. Gets lost in the forest. Claims he proposed the hydrogen automobile (thought Gore did that as part of founding the Internet). Kerry scratching his forehead... Kerry savages on clean skies bills, calls it Orwellian. Brilliant cadence in answer. Bush reasserts air quality's better, opening the body for a quick Kerry flurry to the ribs. Kerry says we walked away from work of 160 nations over 10 years...

Round 13: (Bush, 2 to 0) Kerry receives from Jean Barrow on how America can remain competitive in manufacturing. Are we sure these are uncommitted voters? Torn from today's headlines of 18,000 jobs lost in manufacturing last month. Kerry misses Bush weak spot... Kerry responds cleanly with confession that he can't stop outsourcing. Bush up strongly with response that he doesn't know that he owns $84 worth of a timber company. Point to Bush, pending review.

Round 14: (Kerry, 1 to -2) Bush receives from Ron Fowler about dangers to citizens' rights inherent in Patriot Act and Patriot Act Two. Bush bobs and weaves to insist they won't. "I hope you don't think that." Questioner seems dyspeptic and unhappy... Kerry up quickly to quote James Sensenbrenner and other Republicans claiming Patriot Act needs careful revision. Point to Kerry. Bush grinding his teeth. Could be the Debate Two cutaway shot equivalent of the scowl. Kerry endorses Patriot Act.

Round 15:(Kerry, 2 to 1) Kerry receives from Elizabeth Long about adult stem cell cures as opposed to embryonic stem cell cures. Kerry moves slowly, then pounds by invoking Nancy Reagan and Michael J. Fox..."Don't take away my hope," he quotes Fox. Invokes Christopher Reeve... Bush up but his answer is overshadowed by woman in last row behind him who covers her face in her hand. "To destroy life to save life is one of the real ethical dilemmas that we face." Mentions 22 lines without explaining if he's talking about lines of research, or Boston subway lines. Kerry up quickly accusing Bush of waffling, of allowing some destruction of life but not more...

Round 16: (Kerry, 1 to 0) Bush receives from Jonathan Michaelson about who he'd appoint to Supreme Court. Bush scores with backwoods "I'm not tellin'" answer... But he's using the Ali rope-a-dope. Invokes the Dred Scott case. That was in 1857, not a recent precedent [ed: thank God he put the ownership society question to rest].

Round 17: (draw 1 to 1) Kerry receives from Sarah Degenhart about a voter who believes abortion is murder asking that their tax dollars would not go towards funding it...

Round 18:(Kerry, 2 to 0) Bush receives final question from Linda Grable. Please give three instances in which you made a wrong decision and how you corrected them. Bush responds with boards "to appointments to board you never heard of." Says he'll take responsibility for war mistakes but won't name them. Insists question is really about the decision to go to Iraq. Minus one point to Bush for badgering the questioner. Turns it into Saddam Hussein's torture, skids on wet spot and goes directly to tax cut. Now defending bad appointments...

Round 19: (Draw 0 to 0) Final statements.

Final scoring [ed: see update]:
Rounds: Kerry 12, Bush 4, Drawn 3.
Points: Bush—2 during rounds, 10 added supplementally, Total 12; Kerry—19 during rounds, five subtracted supplementally, one added for overall impact.
Score: Kerry 15, Bush 12— a statistical draw.

Intangibles: For a "town hall" meeting, the goal of each to connect with the people seemed diffused and delayed until after the debate...

Overall, Bush clearly rebounded from his Miami performance, and wiped out that part of the criticism that labeled him indecisive and stumbling...

But, like Dick Cheney on Tuesday, President Bush left himself open for a second-day story, a minor wound if he really does have an $84 stake in a timber company. More points could be awarded or subtracted from either fighter depending on the fact-check. And you don't want to mention either Dred Scott and slavery, or the prospects of a depression.

*Timber Update:
In the middle of its evaluation of Bush-Kerry II, the Hooey from St. Looey, the Scorer's Table warned Mr. Bush during the course of the thirteenth round that if it proved Mr. Kerry was correct in his assertion that the President derived $84 of income from part-ownership of a timber company, the President would be severely sanctioned.

The Scorer's Table, having taken two hours to let the Blogosphere complete its due diligence ...

The point awarded to Mr. Bush in the thirteenth round is hereby withdrawn and awarded to Mr. Kerry, for the latter's enterprising hoisting of his opponent on said opponent's own petard.

Mr. Bush is also penalized three points for a truth foul.
Mr. Bush is further penalized two points for getting snarky while in the act of being factually incorrect.

The thirteenth round, originally scored 2-0 for Mr. Bush, now reverts to a 1-1 draw, and the rounds awarded total now changes from 12 Kerry, 4 Bush, 3 Drawn, to 12 Kerry, 3 Bush, 4 Drawn.

>The final points scoring is now adjusted from Kerry 15, Bush 12, to Kerry 16, Bush 6. The Scorer thus designates the outcome as a Kerry victory outside the margin for statistical error.

The scorer's table reproaches President Bush for not knowing when he has wood.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

War Corporatism

Somehow I think if Ike were still alive he'd approve this message: War Corporatism.

(Via BoingBoing)

Scoring Points

Yesterday my neighbor said at our local café, “I think Cheney won the debate.” He had listened to it on the radio and thought Dick sounded more authoritative. So I asked, “How do you measure victory in a debate and does telling the truth matter?” Unfortunately I didn't get a meaningful answer from him as he had to take off; I don’t think he was running from the debate on The Debate.

It got me to thinking about how you score a debate (see World O'Crap for one scheme), especially when underhanded tactics are used.

If the debate were a fencing match, a discussion with swords, there would be specific rules on retreat and straying out of bounds. There are permitted methods of landing a hit on your opponent that allow for spirited delivery but not for dirty play. Lying in a debate is like using an illegal button to trick the electrical scoring apparatus into registering a touch. So Cheney's lying weren't valid hits on his adversary. Digby shows us what was left after eliminating the mis-truths.

John Kerry was a fencer in college and it showed in the first debate in this exchange:

LEHRER: New question, two minutes, Senator Kerry.

If you are elected president, what will you take to that office thinking is the single most serious threat to the national security to the United States?

KERRY: Nuclear proliferation. Nuclear proliferation. There's some 600-plus tons of unsecured material still in the former Soviet Union and Russia. At the rate that the president is currently securing it, it'll take 13 years to get it.

I did a lot of work on this. I wrote a book about it several years ago -- six, seven years ago -- called "The New War," which saw the difficulties of this international criminal network. And back then, we intercepted a suitcase in a Middle Eastern country with nuclear materials in it. And the black market sale price was about $250 million.

Now, there are terrorists trying to get their hands on that stuff today.

And this president, I regret to say, has secured less nuclear material in the last two years since 9/11 than we did in the two years preceding 9/11.

We have to do this job. And to do the job, you can't cut the money for it. The president actually cut the money for it. You have to put the money into it and the funding and the leadership.

And part of that leadership is sending the right message to places like North Korea.

Right now the president is spending hundreds of millions of dollars to research bunker-busting nuclear weapons. The United States is pursuing a new set of nuclear weapons. It doesn't make sense.

You talk about mixed messages. We're telling other people, "You can't have nuclear weapons," but we're pursuing a new nuclear weapon that we might even contemplate using.

Not this president. I'm going to shut that program down, and we're going to make it clear to the world we're serious about containing nuclear proliferation.

And we're going to get the job of containing all of that nuclear material in Russia done in four years. And we're going to build the strongest international network to prevent nuclear proliferation.

This is the scale of what President Kennedy set out to do with the nuclear test ban treaty. It's our generation's equivalent. And I intend to get it done.

LEHRER: Ninety seconds, Mr. President.

BUSH: Actually, we've increased funding for dealing with nuclear proliferation about 35 percent since I've been the president. Secondly, we've set up what's called the -- well, first of all, I agree with my opponent that the biggest threat facing this country is weapons of mass destruction in the hands of a terrorist network...

You could see Bush stumble over the word "nuclear" which he was probably coached not to use since he can't pronounce it correctly. It seemed to me Kerry knew this and in the course of the debate subtlely drove the point home using the word 31 times to Bushs once. Although Bush whipped out his trusty phrase, "weapons of mass destruction", it was a two-edge sword for him throughout the encounter.

I think both Johns showed finesse in parrying the criticisms and underhanded tactics of Dick and George. By my count,they delivered more blows on their opponents positions thereby winning this round...

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Final Respect for Rodney Dangerfield.

I am sad to read that
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield Dies at 82 .
Rodney Dangerfield, the bug-eyed comic whose self-deprecating one-liners brought him stardom in clubs, television and movies and made his lament "I don't get no respect" a catchphrase, died Oct. 5 in Los Angeles. He was 82.

Dangerfield had fallen into a coma after undergoing surgery Aug. 25 to replace a heart valve. Publicist Kevin Sasaki said in a statement that Dangerfield suffered a small stroke after the operation and developed infectious and abdominal complications. He had emerged from the coma in the past week, Sasaki said

"When Rodney emerged, he kissed me, squeezed my hand and smiled for his doctors," Dangerfield's wife, Joan, said in the statement. The comic also is survived by two children from a previous marriage. (more...)

Rodney you will be sorely missed...

Mr. Mechanical Heart of Darkness

For a preview of tonight's Vice-Presidential Debate, let's turn to Jon Carrol:
It's the moment we've all been waiting for. This evening, for the first time, we may get an answer to the vital question: Dick Cheney, double- dealing plutocrat or incarnation of evil?

A great deal hangs on the answer. Alan Smithee, emeritus professor of answers at UC Berkeley, said: "If Cheney is indeed the incarnation of evil, that posits the existence of a supernatural universe, and leads inevitably to further questions not generally considered by the electorate."

Among these questions, suggests Smithee, is the very viability of monotheism itself. "If Cheney is the sole incarnation of evil, as many suggest, Satan's only representative on the earthly plane, then the Hindu and Buddhist communities are going to have to, as they say, go back to the old drawing board. This would be even more true if, during the debate, Cheney caused the earth to open up and John Edwards to fall from a precipice into the yawning jaws of Hades."

Experts agree, however, that such an outcome is unlikely. The Bush campaign understands that hints of any direct satanic connection at this point would be counterproductive. Even if Dick Cheney does indeed have the power to cause kine to sicken, probably he would not do that. The nation's kine ranchers would probably swing to the Democratic column.

On the other hand, if Cheney is joined onstage by a host of evil flying monkeys and other demons, polytheism is still very much in play. Indeed, the small groups of Democrats who do worship evil flying monkeys would see the manifestation as a gesture to their side, and flock to the polls in higher- than-usual numbers.

The Edwards campaign says -- wait, where is the Edwards campaign? It is apparently campaigning in the swing states, including Benny Goodman, Tommy Dorsey and Harry James. In a statement Sunday, the Edwards campaign said it would never use a dopey joke that hardly anyone would understand.

The Edwards campaign has consistently taken the high road, refusing to accuse Cheney of any covert evil powers. "We think he's a bad man, yes," said an unnamed Edwards spokesman, "but we do not think that he has, say, cloven hooves. Not that we have ever seen his feet."(more...)

Techie Tuedsay: Cell Phone Costumes

Talk Lobster, Oooo Wooo

AnniesCostumes.Com created cute covers for cell phones. They've got lions, tigers, and bears,oh my. Ok, I'm lying about the lions, but they got Kenny from South Park. Works with most mobile phones, even flip phones, all for $10.95.

So if you plan on going out as a mermaid (or a manatee) this Halloween, don't forget to accesorize with your very own Talk Lobster. Now, how cool is that?

(Via Engadget)

Monday, October 04, 2004

How did I get here and where is my beautiful wife?

Today I got the weirdest search engine referral from Google:
"dog feces" slave sex forced "had to". It came from their German language site, as if that means anything…

But wouldn’t you know it, it was for my post on Jon Stewart’s book that lead them here. Needless to say, they didn't stay long…

Prior to today, the only other strange google search was john+kerry+shoe+size which I surmised was Wonkette looking for material…

Sunday Cinema

Yeah, I know it's Monday, of course I know that. It's hard work...loving yawl the best that I can...

Here are few streaming videos I liked:

Justin sent me a link to his hilarious Bush Focus Group short.

Oliver Willis has a beautifully edited piece by Brennan Houlihan of the RNC's talking points.

Avedon Carol points out the Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth's clip of How Bush Did at the Debate.

Anyone know where I can host some video clips for free or next to it?

Friday, October 01, 2004

Designed to Kill the Post Debate Afterglow

Here's a reminder of how tough things still are. Go try the eletronic Florida Election Ballot.

(Via The Presurer)

The Eyes have it.

Betsy R. Vasquez also noticed that Bush was drinking heavily. I chuckled heartily by her take on the debate and how it was a Disaster For Bush:
How bad was it for Bush?

So bad that FOX News' website didn't even run any poll. So bad that all Matt Drudge could try and boast about on his website was that some Democrat called it a draw. So bad that even Bush's people could only try to say, Yeah, he lost, but so what.

Other media outlets have been telling you this election would be close and that the debates might be even as well.

We hate to say it (not that much) but we told them so.

Bush got shellacked so badly it was astounding. He was like a wounded animal desperate for a place to hide but not able to find one.

For the past week the right-wing had been joking about how Kerry was a sweater, would sweat during the debates. But it was Bush who the camera saw wiping sweat from his brow. And drinking heavily from his water glass repeatedly. And fumbling through his papers, desperate to find something else to say besides the one or two talking point phrases he could manage to remember.

There was no escaping or hiding the fact that Bush was not even remotely deserving of being on that stage. He was rambling, incoherent. His answers wandered not only off topic but out of comprehensibility. In short, all of the things the President's handlers have been adeptly hiding from the public - that the emperor truly is butt naked - got stuck right out there in the bright light.

And now America knows.

There is a lot more detail worth reading before she gets the heart of Bush's pathetic performance.

Last night, the Bushies went up there seemingly without a plan except to have Bush repeatedly - and we mean repeatedly and repeatedly and repeatedly, until he began to sound like Rain Man - say that Kerry, "changes positions." "He sends mixed messages." "He changes positions." "Mixed messages." "He changes positions." (We are not exaggerating here - I am accurately reflecting the number of times Bush mumbled these phrases in incoherent desperation.) "Mixed messages." "Mixed messages." "Mixed signals." "Mixed signals." "Mixed messages." "Mixed messages." "Waver."

And he only stopped babbling that mantra when he was saying not one, not two, but seven times, that Kerry had called Iraq, "...the wrong war at the wrong time at the wrong place," and not seven, not eight, but eleven times that it is, "hard work," fighting terrorist (in addition to pointing out twice people were, "working hard," at it.

So people are sitting there, seeing Kerry give actual, coherent answers, and Bush is lost, sweating, pounding water likes it's JD, fumbling through papers desperately, sneering and looking miserable and angry, like he wants to leave, and giving answers that are incoherent rambles laced with flat out lies or misstatements.

Like I said earlier, it was important to see the two side by side to make the comparison and to realize who is more presidiential.

(Via Smirking Chimp)